IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
all
vehicles
 that produce flammable fossil gas should be restricted and electric
vehicles
 should substitute them. In my opinion, I agree with the statement because electric
vehicles
 are an investment and environmentally friendly.
Firstly
, electric
vehicles
 are a form of investment. In the long run, when you compare the electric bill for the car to the gas bill there will be a huge difference.
Also
, it will save you time and energy from going to the gas station.
Although
 there is not that much difference, they do save time if you just plug it in the charger the night before. If an individual charges the car every night before they sleep, they will always wake up to a fully charged vehicle.
Secondly
, electric cars are environmentally friendly by using electricity
instead
 of burning fuel. The damage to the environment will not be visible now, but after years of polluting the air, it will most definitely show.
For instance
, if someone added a drop of food colouring in water it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 not show, but if he continued to add to the glass of water, it would eventually be coloured. In conclusion, as I stated before, I believe that electric cars should replace cars that burn fossil fuels for many reasons, but the two most important are that they are a form of investment and they do not pollute our environment.
Furthermore
, our plant is our responsibility and we should always try to protect it and not damage it any
further
.
Submitted by jowanaalamoudi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each main point is supported by adequate details and examples. For instance, including data or studies about cost savings of electric vehicles could strengthen the investment argument.
task achievement
Try to diversify the use of lexical resources to avoid repetition and enhance overall vocabulary range. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'friendly', 'environmentally-beneficial' can be used.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a position and supports it with reasons, making it easy for the reader to follow the argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, reinforcing the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: