IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

‘Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.’

#sites #facebook #twitter #effects #criminals
Around us, we notice​ ​d​ many people are using social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. It is considered by many that social networking site has many advantages, while some believe ​ d​ that social networking site encourages criminals. I partially agree with both views, because of technology, people can stay closer to the world with cheap and efficient communication.
Firstly
, social media sites are ​like a ​ bridge for people, especially for​ who live far from each other. Because of social media, many old and new friends can chat easily, share the information about their lives.
Also
, those peoples who migrated in another country, they can stay connected ​through ​by​ social media like a Facebook video call.
Moreover
, many people ​ with similar interest can form a group and learn from each other which increases their knowledge in that particular field​.
For example
, some people like to know more about the painting, so they follow the painter’s community and ​ get more idea about different painters who work around the world.
On the other hand
, social networking site embarks many sorrow events in people’s life. Nowadays​
,
Accept space
,
​ people are ​very ​ addicted from these social sites, which ​affects ​on their physical and psychological health.
For instance
, many students, who​ are ​ neglect
​
ed​ ​by their friends. ​Take revenge ​ by ​ ​ accessing ​ the ​ ​ ​ friend’s ​account ​ and threaten them. Many people create the fake account and chat​. There are many people ​who ​over​ share their​ personal ​ details on the social site​
,
Accept space
,
​ which ​makes it easy for criminals to hack into. To sum up, I believe that the use of social media is good ​to a ​​ certain level ​but​ precautions should be taken regarding privacy and security.
Submitted by tejasree.samala on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: