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Band 7.5

Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks
Nowadays, The
use
 of internet has been greatly increased by the all age groups of human beings.
However
, there are some risk to sharing personal information on various websites. But for my opinion, I believe that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
, The communications between friends, family and relatives very smoothly compare to the past.
In addition
, Now the distance is not a drawback at all.
Moreover
, people touch with their friends by using the social media application like Whatsapp, Facebook, Etcetra. If the distance is so far between them, The communication with video calling apps like Skype, Facetime and other so much.
Secondly
, From the social media is used now for the job purposes too.
Furthermore
, Many different social media platforms like LinkdIn, Indeed and others so much. Web site,
such
 as Naukri. And many others are open for the different roles of jobs to candidates who are deserving but unemployed.
That is
 why the
use
 of social media is
also
 reduces the unemployment rate.
On the other hand
, The major drawbacks from the social media are the cyber crime, money laundering. They hack so much information of ATM card while using for shopping purposes.
Also
, The missus behaviour from the children are
also
 losses. When they post something on social media like their mobile numbers and some vulgar photos their mischief behaviours are caught up with the cyber thief and after that they blackmailing them. So, the proper
use
 of social media will not harm them and no risk for them. To conclude, I completely agree that the social media is profitable among all the age group, but it should be a proper way to using it and decrease to harm themselves and others and
also
 reduce the risk, while the
use
 of social media.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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