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Band 6.5

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#parents #pressure #children #development
It is no doubt that these
days
Suggestion
day's
day
violence
 on television and in computer games is becoming increasingly popular in recent times.
However
, the question: does it affect negatively on society or not? 0Is one of the most serious issues today. We are going to discuss
this
 phenomenon from both viewpoints and find the solution too.
Also
, we will see the reason why I agree mostly that
this
 trend of
violence
 will damage us. The
first
 argument suggests that the benefits considerably outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
 is that watching
violence
 on television and in computer games is so exciting especially for an adult.
For example
, they enjoy watching action movies and play fighting games.
Moreover
, they deny that seeing
violence
 possible to change behaviour. One good illustration of
this
 is that it extends our imagination.
On the other hand
, the
second
 argument is considered an opposing case. It is commonly thought of the fact that
violence
 is a far effect on damaging society. People often have
this
 opinion because of badly affect child behaviour,
such
 as fighting with their in the schools and the streets. A
second
 point that people use playing fighting games to waste time as soon as possible. A particular example, students playing
instead
 of studying the whole night. So parents and the government must do their best to control it. In conclusion, we saw that there are no easy answers to these questions. In my opinion, I tend to support the idea of drawbacks of
violence
 are more than
advantages but
Accept comma addition
advantages, but
 we should put in our consideration that watching violent movies is so interesting. So making a balance between the two sides is the best solution to change our life for the better.
This
 essay explained both ideas and how it is important to limit
this
 trend of
violence
.
Submitted by extramagicbrush on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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