Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Public
health
is a multifaceted concern, and the approaches to enhancing it vary widely. While
some argue that an increase in sports
facilities
is the key to a healthier society, others contend that this
strategy falls short of addressing the complexities of public health
. In this
essay, I will explore both perspectives before presenting my own opinion on the matter.
Proponents of augmenting sports
facilities
posit that such
infrastructure encourages physical activity, a cornerstone of good health
. Regular exercise is associated with myriad benefits, including weight control, cardiovascular fitness, and mental well-being. For instance
, countries boasting extensive sports
facilities
often exhibit lower rates of obesity and related health
issues.
However
, a singular emphasis on sports
facilities
is criticized for overlooking the multifaceted nature of public health
challenges. Health
problems, such
as obesity or chronic diseases, often stem from a combination of factors, including dietary habits, lifestyle choices, and socioeconomic disparities. Merely increasing sports
facilities
might not address these root causes.
A more holistic approach to public health
involves a combination of measures beyond sports
facilities
. Health
education programs can raise awareness about the importance of balanced nutrition and healthy lifestyle choices. Accessible healthcare ensures that individuals receive timely treatment and preventive care. Supportive public policies, such
as regulations on food quality and urban planning, contribute to creating an environment conducive to health
.
In conclusion, while
sports
facilities
undeniably play a role in promoting physical activity and overall
well-being, they should not be viewed as a panacea for public health
challenges. A comprehensive strategy that encompasses education, healthcare, and public policies is essential for meaningful and lasting improvements. Striking a balance between sports
facilities
and broader measures is the key to fostering a healthier society.Submitted by zora840810 on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear conclusion. However, you could enhance your task response by integrating more specific examples to illustrate your arguments. This would add depth to your essay and bolster your points.
coherence cohesion
You've organized your essay well, but to improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking phrases and ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more naturally and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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