People argue that some youngster become well-known.

People argue that some youngster
become
Suggestion
becomes
well-known. In affirmative, popular young man and women can bring confidence and they can earn much money, while some young people get
depression
that can make
suicide situation
Suggestion
the suicide situation
a suicide situation
and they have to spend much time
from
Suggestion
since
they are elementary school students. To start with, many people want to be
entertainer
Suggestion
entertained
entertaining
when they are young in
this
period. It is because, people believe that they are life is so luxury life and it will change their lifestyle,
For example
, K-pop become famous in the world in
this
age
;
Accept space
;
in
this
situation, almost artists are youth even teenager.
Thus
, they become many people’s icon which a few fan send to them present or letter,
also
they always try to find their icon’s happy. In the results, most of them has confidence as many people love them and
this
self-confidence will make
more good
Suggestion
better
quality of
entertainer
Suggestion
entertainers
which make people happy as they enjoy
music
Suggestion
the music
and
program
Suggestion
the program
.
Moreover
,
this
work
follow
Suggestion
follows
by big money for
this
work is so strict and it is
high
Suggestion
higher
salary usually when they become famous people.
On the other hand
, some artist
gain
Accept comma addition
gain, depression
depression
from their work because
this
job is many people know them and some people make a
rumor
gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth
rumour
remark
or write a bad comment on celebrity news.
For instance
, one person become famed when he is young
;
Accept space
;
however
, it
make
Suggestion
makes
him so sad as he is not doing anything while he have bad
rumors
gossip (usually a mixture of truth and untruth) passed around by word of mouth
rumours
,
also
he can see bad comments even he
do not know
Suggestion
does not know
their face.
In addition
, they have to do much practice if people want to be
entertainer
Suggestion
entertained
entertaining
. It means, they cannot go to school, they cannot
make s
Suggestion
make
makes
friends in the school and they cannot learn very well due to their practice. In
this
consequence, they
gain
Accept comma addition
gain, depression
depression
and they cannot make a memory with their friends. In conclusion, in the positive situation, they can earn much money and they can do everything because of their confidence
;
Accept space
;
nonetheless
, they cannot
easy
Suggestion
easily
ease
to find their own way, if they cannot do
artistes
someone who denies the existence of god
atheists
and some case it will make a
depression
.
Submitted by onabrus18 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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