IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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Currently,
people
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 in rural cities move to the urban cities in the world.
Thus
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, the population in the countryside shows a significant decrease compared to a few decades ago. In
this
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 essay, I illustrate the positive and negative effects on the development of a country. The
city
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 is more flourish by accepting many
people
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 from rural areas. It is an inevitable phenomenon for
people
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 moving from a rural
area
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 to a
city
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 to seek job
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and education. There are more working opportunities in the
city
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center
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centre
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. Since many
people
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 live in a crowded
area
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, many work opportunities are created there.
Furthermore
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, young
people
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 who want to receive higher education need to move from a rural
area
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 to a town to take courses. Accepting those who are talented
people
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, the town can experience economic succession.
However
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, it has drawbacks in both a rural
area
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 and a
city
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. As for a rural
area
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, the shortage of young
workes
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workers
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 is a significant issue, especially in the agricultural sector. The work for cultivation
require
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requires
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 a lot of effort,
therefore
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 young healthy work forth is needed. With the lack of young
people
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 who can take agricultural jobs, the nation might face difficulties in producing enough food for
people
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 in the country.
Also
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, a problem would happen in a
city
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 either.
For example
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, the amount of waste can be excess so that garbage is not processed in the right way.
Also
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, living places are not enough for moving
people
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 so they cannot find a place to live. These matters bring serious issues in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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national development.
Although
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 many
people
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 are moving from the countryside to a
city
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 around the world to seek
job
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jobs
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 and educational opportunities, it brings serious issues for both cities and rural places. The government needs to consider the negative aspects of a nation’s development.
Submitted by hojoeri on

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task achievement
Ensure your examples are specific and detailed, illustrating the point more effectively.E.g., instead of saying 'people move for job opportunities', you might specify the particular industries or fields thriving in cities that draw people from rural areas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity without losing fluency.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of rural-urban migration, giving your essay a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your arguments successfully leads the reader through your points, maintaining coherence throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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