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Band 6.5

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors #influence
Striving for
happiness
 has always been one of the primary objectives of human beings. Some people believe that the ability to be happy depends on an individual themselves, while others say that several external influences may impede. I am of the opinion that
outer
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 factors play a vital role in people’s
happiness
. On the one hand, the achievement life satisfaction is clearly considered unattainable without an open mindset of a person.
This
 means that a positive attitude as well as the ability to receive pleasure
are supposed
Suggestion
is supposed
 to be essential elements of
happiness
.
Therefore
, people who opt to establish low benchmarks and live to their standards may consider themselves satisfied with their lives.
For example
, the opulent are not always regarded as happy people owing to the individual requirements; and often exorbitant purchases do not entail
happiness
.
In other words
, people who crave for
happiness
 ought to possess the right state of mind.
On the other hand
, I reckon that several
externalities
 affect humans’ pursuit
for
Suggestion
of
 wellbeing, namely the government and spontaneous health issues.
Firstly
, the authorities encroach upon one’s
happiness
 by implementing unjust laws, which exacerbate the person’s life quality.
Moreover
, another uncontrolled factor is terminal illnesses that cast a shadow on of the most crucial property of people, their health. The above-mentioned phenomenon defy control and should be taken into consideration as the most damaging factors for
happiness
. To conclude,
although
 I admit the role of a personal attitude, I strongly believe that external factors
such
 as diseases and governmental interference must be dealt with in determining people’s
happiness
.
Submitted by eriknguyen1829 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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