IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for every

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #governments
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Major
cities
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 are often seen as places of opportunity;
as a result
Linking Words
, an increasing number of individuals are immigrating to these metropolises, leading to rapid urban growth.
However
Linking Words
, living in a city presents significant challenges, particularly for middle-class residents. In
this
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 essay, I will outline the drawbacks of megacity
life
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 and explore how governments can improve the quality of
life
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 and alleviate some of the difficulties faced by urban areas. One of the main issues citizens face in urban environments is the high cost of living, which is typically much higher than in rural areas. Immigrants to large
cities
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 often struggle with increased expenses related to housing, transportation, and even food.
Additionally
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, urban dwellers confront social issues
such
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 as crime and elevated poverty rates in comparison to smaller towns. The quality of air in
cities
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 is frequently poor
due to
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 pollution from traffic, and streets and public transportation systems are often overcrowded, contributing to noise pollution.
Consequently
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,
life
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 in
cities
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 can be marked by significant anxiety, stress, and unhealthy living conditions.
Nevertheless
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, there are various actions that authorities can take to address these problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government should invest in the construction industry to help lower housing costs by reducing rental and purchase prices for apartments.
Secondly
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, policymakers have the capacity to restrict personal vehicle usage in city
centers
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centres
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 and promote public transportation systems, encouraging more people to utilize them. Implementing strict regulations, increasing green spaces, and developing efficient public transport are essential steps to reduce traffic congestion
as well as
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 air and noise pollution.
Finally
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, authorities should address the concentration of businesses, factories, and manufacturers in capital
cities
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 and larger urban areas by distributing job opportunities to rural regions.
This
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 would create convenient options in diverse locations and mitigate the forced migration of many individuals. In conclusion,
while
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 urbanization has several drawbacks, the government can implement a variety of measures to improve the quality of
life
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 for all city residents.
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task achievement
To enhance the task response, you could include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the points you make. For instance, mention specific cities and detail the measures they have taken, or cite statistics to strengthen your argument. This will make your essay even more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence and cohesion, you could employ more varied transition words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between paragraphs and within your arguments. Although the essay already flows well, this small adjustment can further enhance readability and connection of ideas.
coherence cohesion
You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your main points. This gives your essay a strong foundation and helps the reader follow your argument easily.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and logically organized, which makes for a compelling and coherent read. The essay demonstrates a good ability to develop ideas and provide relevant solutions.
task achievement
The essay offers a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering the main difficulties of urban life and suggesting several practical government interventions to improve quality of life.
task achievement
The language used is clear and effective, with a strong command of grammar and vocabulary. This clarity helps convey your arguments persuasively and enhances the overall quality of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
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