IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some perants buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantaged for the child of having a large number of toys

#perants #children #toys #child
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is no surprise nowadays that, a lot of
toys
Use synonyms
, ranging from simple dolls to complicated electronic gadgets like video games, are provided for some
children
Use synonyms
 by their parents.
Although
Linking Words
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of numerous
toys
Use synonyms
 has some benefits, its drawbacks should not be avoided. The main merits and demerits of having several
toys
Use synonyms
 in childhood have been discussed
further
Linking Words
. On the one hand, one of the important advantages of
children
Use synonyms
 having lots of
toys
Use synonyms
 is that there are different games for them to play. They can choose one of their
toys
Use synonyms
 according to their mood and taste
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and are less likely to become bored.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they would certainly be able to learn a wider variety of skills like
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 or organization. Different
toys
Use synonyms
 can teach them different things as every toy has
distinct
Correct article usage
a distinct
show examples
 function and significance, which means that the more
toys
Use synonyms
 they have, the more they are likely to learn.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having a lot of different
toys
Use synonyms
 could possibly lead to
children
Use synonyms
 becoming overweight since many modern
toys
Use synonyms
 like video games and LEGOs, which are very common these days, are usually played indoors.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they would definitely reduce
children
Use synonyms
’s physical activity, leading them to gain extra weight.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when kids have too many
toys
Use synonyms
, it is likely that they will take less care of them.
In other words
Linking Words
, they will probably not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready to play with.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they would not learn to appreciate their belongings and may become careless in future. In conclusion, I believe that
children
Use synonyms
 benefit from an abundance of
toys
Use synonyms
 which offer them variety,
as well as
Linking Words
 teaching them more varied skills.
However
Linking Words
, it is important that they keep an active lifestyle and are taught to value every toy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: