IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Should you people follow older people's example or it's good for them to challenge older people's opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #challenge #thoughts
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Some people say that youth should do what exactly the elderly people's experience, while others believe that it's better to think about the old people point of view and
then
Linking Words
 make some new decisions. The essay
argue
Suggestion
argues
 about both of the
ideas but
Accept comma addition
ideas, but
 the writer fully advocates the
second
Linking Words
 one. Life is no longer to gain experiences from all aspects of the real
world
Use synonyms
. Young people at the begging point of their period must take care of yourself and avoid some probable mistakes that they hear or learn from their parents or teachers. They should learn about financial problems and do not waste their money. Youth can get some remarkable experiences about education, work, marriage, and social behaviour from their adults. The elderly have
valuable opinion
Suggestion
a valuable opinion
valuable opinions
 about life skills and young people would prevent from potential risks and bad decisions. All in all,
this
Linking Words
experiences
Suggestion
experience
are
Suggestion
is
 like a gold box for teenagers who want to live better in the future. 
However
Linking Words
, life in all perspectives will change during each decade and youth can have the older people's view and
then
Linking Words
 make some good and modern decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, by boosting the technology and especially
internet
Suggestion
the internet
, youth can search something by twinkling an eye and get some new information about all issues
such
Linking Words
 as
life styles
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyles
, behaviour, finance, COVID 19, and any things that they want. We actually live in a
world
Use synonyms
 that most of the time we face with
new crisis
Suggestion
the new crisis
a new crisis
new crises
 like inflation, weather conditions, economic problems, any health care subjects, and so on. I mean we live in a dynamic
world
Use synonyms
 and things have been changed rapidly.
In
Linking Words
addition there
Accept comma addition
addition, there
 are some examples in the
world
Use synonyms
 that both father and son,
for instance
Linking Words
,
were
In or at or to what place
where
 scientists and the father told her son please do not follow my way of
thinking but
Accept comma addition
thinking, but
 the son think about the father's idea and after a while he discover new outcomes.  In conclusion, While
listen
Suggestion
listening
 to elderly's opinion are really vital but young people should think about it and decide modern idea.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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