IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #years
The bar graph illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 charity from British people by each heart range only the years 1990 and 2010. In 1990,
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
show examples
 between 36 to 50 have the highest
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
assistance
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than another. activity between 51 to 65
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
subsidy
Add an article
a subsidy
show examples
, approximately 35
rate
Change to a plural noun
rates
show examples
. The latest to help is maturity between 18 to 25 have almost 17
fee
Change to a plural noun
fees
show examples
. And youth between 26 to 35 and over 65 have
subscription
Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
show examples
 approximately equal
31
Change preposition
to 31
show examples
 to 32 proportion.
On the other hand
 maturity between 51 to 65 is higher too. Charity more than another. Youth between 36 to 50 have decreased from 1990 a year have approximately 42
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
 to 35
chunk
Change to a plural noun
chunks
show examples
. activity between 36 to 50 and over 65 have an equal 35 ratio. Old age between 18 to 25 in 2010 have a lot of decrease from 17
ratio
Change to a plural noun
ratios
show examples
 to 7 proportion.
Overall
, bequest in1990 growth between 18 to 50
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased to allowance more than 2010 years. But,
heart
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
show examples
 between 51 to over 65 in 1990 have endowment less
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: