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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #students #time #work #college
The bar charts compare the
number
 of
graduate
 and postgraduate
students
 in the
UK
 without getting to full-time
work
 in four different categories.
Overall
, in both groups of
students
,
while
Further
 study and part-time
work
 were by far the most popular selections, the
number
 of
students
 participating in voluntary
work
 was the lowest in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 categories surveyed. It is noticed that the
number
 of
graduate
students
significantly
Add a missing verb
is significantly
show examples
 higher than that of
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
. In 2008, approximately 17700
graduate
students
 were attracted by
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, which was over sevenfold than that of postgraduate
students
. Compare to part-time
work
, nearly 30000
UK
 graduates chose to enrol in
further
 study, a difference of roughly 12000
students
. Meanwhile, the
number
 of
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
 in the
UK
took
Correct pronoun usage
who took
show examples
 part in
this
 segment was 2725
students
, which
200
Add a missing verb
was 200
show examples
 higher than that of
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and only was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nine of those
graduate
Replace the word
graduated
show examples
. In the same period surveyed,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 considerably lower
number
 of
students
 doing voluntary
work
 or without
work
 was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
witness
Wrong verb form
witnessed
show examples
 in both groups of
students
 in the
UK
.
Whereas
, the quantity of unemployed
graduate
students
 was 16235, the figures for postgraduate
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nearly ten times lower.
Similarly
, the
number
 of
graduate
work
 on a voluntary was noticeably higher than that of its counterparts,
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at 3500 and 345 respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, graduate, students, uk, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼

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