At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Band 7 IELTS Task 2

Essay

Use synonyms

Review Band 7 IELTS Task 2

Essay

Use synonyms

Review March 17, 2020 By Nadyne D In

this

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tutorial we have a Band 7

essay

Use synonyms

graded by an EX-IELTS examiner (from our team of

essay

Use synonyms

correctors!).

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First you

Accept comma addition

First, you

can read the

essay

Use synonyms

, and after we break

down which

Accept comma addition

down, which

sentences helped

this

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essay

Use synonyms

score a Band 7. Each criteria

has been considered

Suggestion

have been considered

and the sentence in the

essay

Use synonyms

has been colour coded to correspond to the fours marking criteria used by the British Council / IELTS IDP.

This

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tutorial will help you understand: How an

essay

Use synonyms

gets a Band 7 What sentence structures and language is needed for a Band 7 How you can link ideas smoothly At the present

time

Use synonyms

, the

population

Use synonyms

of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of

this

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situation outweigh the disadvantages? It is well known that some countries have a

population

Use synonyms

with more young people than old people. Even

this

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fact could have both advantages and disadvantages, In my opinion the positive implications of having a youthful

population

Use synonyms

over-weigh the negative ones.

This

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essay

Use synonyms

will discuss the advantages and disadvantages giving examples to support both points of view. On one hand, having

more younger

Suggestion

younger

people could lead to a lack of professionals in the society. Older

population

Use synonyms

may be more educated than

the young

Suggestion

the younger

one,

this

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is being why they have had more

time

Use synonyms

to study a professional career during their lives.

For example

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, to become a specialist physician it is needed at least 10 years of university studies and

this

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may not be able for a young adult yet.

In addition

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, younger

population

Use synonyms

have

Suggestion

has

less life experience than

old

Suggestion

older

population

Use synonyms

. People after their 50’s may have been through a lot in life and they may be more prepared to solve any day-life problem than younger people.

This

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could help to form a less stressful society.

Lastly

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, younger populations

are

Suggestion

likely to have

higher rate

Suggestion

higher rates

a higher rate

of crime,

this

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could be because young people have more energy to commit crime than old people. A study from the University of Chile showed that in the south of Chile, where the

population

Use synonyms

is mostly young, the rate of robs and crimes where twice higher than in the north where most of the

population

Use synonyms

where

have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)

were

in their 50’s and older.

On the other hand

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, youthful populations are in general more active and

more happy

Suggestion

happier

This

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may be because they have less old age-associated illness leading them to work more and maintain them-self more active. Adding to the fact that healthy people can work more efficiently, with

this

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they can contribute to the economy of the country, making money

instead

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of spending.

For instance

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, it is a fact that old societies spend a lot of money in health for their

old

Suggestion

older

citizens. Another positive aspect of having young adult populations is that there are more chances of having outstanding sport professionals. Young people have more

time

Use synonyms

and more energy than

old

Suggestion

older

people to practice and become an excellent sport professional. In soccer most of the

players

Suggestion

player

retires from their soccer-career when they turn thirty years old. With old people there would be no

time

Use synonyms

to start a sport career. And

last

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but not least, young societies are more likely to have outdoor activities for the community.

This

Linking Words

could be because they are more proactive in

organize

Suggestion

organizing

those activities and

also

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more likely to participate in them.

Old

Suggestion

Older

people may be too tired to go out. To conclude with the arguments given above, I firmly believe that the advantages of

youthful

Suggestion

the youthful population

population

Use synonyms

over-weigh the disadvantages. Even though, there are some positive aspects of having an older

population

Use synonyms

that

Suggestion

That

we should consider.

Apr 3, 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

16 paragraphs

627 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there is a rapid increase of rubbish amounts all around the world. What are the main causes for it? What can be a solution, in your opinion?

Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Some claim that children are more aware of environmental issues than older adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studying English in an English-speaking country is the best way to learn the language.Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people belive that there should be fixed punishments for each types of crime. others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and thr motivation for committing it, shold always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.