At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Band 7 IELTS Task 2

Essay

Review Band 7 IELTS Task 2

Essay

Review March 17, 2020 By Nadyne D In

this

tutorial we have a Band 7

essay

graded by an EX-IELTS examiner (from our team of

essay

correctors!).

First you

Accept comma addition

First, you

can read the

essay

, and after we break

down which

Accept comma addition

down, which

sentences helped

this

essay

score a Band 7. Each criteria

has been considered

Suggestion

have been considered

and the sentence in the

essay

has been colour coded to correspond to the fours marking criteria used by the British Council / IELTS IDP.

This

tutorial will help you understand: How an

essay

gets a Band 7 What sentence structures and language is needed for a Band 7 How you can link ideas smoothly At the present

time

, the

population

of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of

this

situation outweigh the disadvantages? It is well known that some countries have a

population

with more young people than old people. Even

this

fact could have both advantages and disadvantages, In my opinion the positive implications of having a youthful

population

over-weigh the negative ones.

This

essay

will discuss the advantages and disadvantages giving examples to support both points of view. On one hand, having

more younger

Suggestion

younger

people could lead to a lack of professionals in the society. Older

population

may be more educated than

the young

Suggestion

the younger

one,

this

is being why they have had more

time

to study a professional career during their lives.

For example

, to become a specialist physician it is needed at least 10 years of university studies and

this

may not be able for a young adult yet.

In addition

, younger

population

have

Suggestion

has

less life experience than

old

Suggestion

older

population

. People after their 50’s may have been through a lot in life and they may be more prepared to solve any day-life problem than younger people.

This

could help to form a less stressful society.

Lastly

, younger populations

are

Suggestion

is

likely to have

higher rate

Suggestion

higher rates

a higher rate

of crime,

this

could be because young people have more energy to commit crime than old people. A study from the University of Chile showed that in the south of Chile, where the

population

is mostly young, the rate of robs and crimes where twice higher than in the north where most of the

population

where

have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)

were

in their 50’s and older.

On the other hand

, youthful populations are in general more active and

more happy

Suggestion

happier

.

This

may be because they have less old age-associated illness leading them to work more and maintain them-self more active. Adding to the fact that healthy people can work more efficiently, with

this

they can contribute to the economy of the country, making money

instead

of spending.

For instance

, it is a fact that old societies spend a lot of money in health for their

old

Suggestion

older

citizens. Another positive aspect of having young adult populations is that there are more chances of having outstanding sport professionals. Young people have more

time

and more energy than

old

Suggestion

older

people to practice and become an excellent sport professional. In soccer most of the

players

Suggestion

player

retires from their soccer-career when they turn thirty years old. With old people there would be no

time

to start a sport career. And

last

but not least, young societies are more likely to have outdoor activities for the community.

This

could be because they are more proactive in

organize

Suggestion

organizing

those activities and

also

more likely to participate in them.

Old

Suggestion

Older

people may be too tired to go out. To conclude with the arguments given above, I firmly believe that the advantages of

youthful

Suggestion

the youthful population

population

over-weigh the disadvantages. Even though, there are some positive aspects of having an older

population

that

Suggestion

That

we should consider.