The number of people who are interested in and wearing fashionable clothes is increasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fashion
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The fashion
show examples
industry is rapidly gaining
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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popularity among youngsters. Nowadays, a majority of
people
prefer wearing trendy outfits to show their status of being rich,
whereas
some
people
completely oppose
this
idea and believe that it is a
wastage
Replace the word
waste
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of money.
This
essay agrees with the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
viewpoint and will discuss both viewpoints in detail.
To begin
with, most youngsters believe that wearing the latest fashionable
clothes
is a sense of satisfaction.
That is
to say,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous TV celebrities wearing expensive
clothes
and shoes have a feeling that their style is unique, which is why they have a huge fan following. Certainly, it is a way to impress others because
people
always praise unique and beautiful things,
instead
of commonly available items.
Furthermore
,
due to
the development in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology, it is easy to follow the latest
fashion
as all the websites have advertisements showing trendy
clothes
, shoes and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
and
due to
the wide range of options available to choose from,
people
consider it is a positive development.
On the other hand
, there are
people
who opine that following
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
has merely a negative impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
is because,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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branded
clothes
are way more expensive than normal
clothes
and
people
spend almost half of their salaries on buying
such
clothes
, resulting in no
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
show examples
left for the future.
As a result
,
such
people
would not be able to survive if there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
uncertain situations,
such
as no job or economic crises.
In addition
, a majority of brands are international and
people
who prefer purchasing those brands from
international
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the international
show examples
market, are actually ignoring their local market, which eventually disturbs the local economy of a country.
Lastly
, the quality of stylish
clothes
is not very good in terms of durability and comfort as compared to local
clothes
.
To conclude
,
although
one should stay up to date in terms of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
fashion
and trends.
However
, considering the cost, quality and the impacts of international brands on
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
market makes me feel that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fashion
has more negative effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society than positive.
Submitted by jaskaur0477 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay with clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The development of ideas is mostly coherent and cohesive, providing a good overall flow of thoughts and arguments.
task response
The response provides a generally complete and clear discussion of the given topic. The relevant viewpoints are presented and supported with specific examples. However, the focus on the negative impact is stronger than the positive impact, so the balance of the discussion could be improved.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • modernity
  • versatility
  • practicality
  • Western media
  • fashion industry
  • widespread adoption
  • professional settings
  • preservation
  • cultural diversity
  • cultural integration
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • unique cultural identities
  • expression of individuality
  • innovative
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