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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some counntries, the cost of living is rapidly increasing. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What effects might this have on society?

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Living costs in some countries are swiftly rising.
This
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 is because the
inflation
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 rate is high.
As a result
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, the
people
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's buying
power
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 is weakened.
This
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 essay will discuss how it has become the main reason and how it affects society's purchasing
power
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. Increased prices of goods and services are driven by
inflation
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. There are various reasons why
inflation
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 happens
such
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 as an unmanageable increase in the money supply. Indonesia in 1998 is an example of a
country
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 where the living cost at that time rose greatly
due to
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inflation
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. The nation was unstable, which created an economic crisis.
Consequently
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, primary, secondary, and even tertiary needs prices were unaffordable for some
people
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. A remarkable and notable effect of
inflation
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 is the purchasing
power
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 of the
people
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 is weakened. Still in Indonesia in 1998, low to middle-class economy
people
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 could not afford basic food needs
such
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 as eggs, potatoes, and rice
due to
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 their prices in the market. The situation was forcing the seller to put an unreasonable price
due to
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 stabilizing the economy and political situation at that period of time.
Therefore
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, only several groups of
people
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 could afford to buy the things they need
as a consequence
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 of
inflation
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 or in other terms, it has lessened their purchasing
power
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. Another
country
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 that had an experience with
this
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 issue was Venezuela in 2022 with approximately three hundred per cent of
inflation
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 rate. In conclusion, maintaining the supply of money in a
country
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 is crucial and indisputable;
otherwise
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, a
country
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 will face the following problems
such
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 as an economic crisis which affects the society's purchasing
power
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.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, providing reasons for the rapid increase in living costs and its effects on society. However, consider elaborating on additional factors contributing to inflation beyond just the increase in money supply to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, work on smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence and readability. For example, you can use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition' to connect ideas more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider expanding and clearly distinguishing between the reasons for inflation and its effects on purchasing power. Also, add a few more linking words and phrases within paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the economic crisis in Indonesia in 1998 and the inflation rate in Venezuela in 2022. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay well. The introduction effectively sets up the topic, and the conclusion provides a succinct summary of your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Inflation
  • Demand-pull inflation
  • Cost-push inflation
  • Property prices
  • Rent costs
  • Domestic and international buyers
  • Supply chain disruptions
  • Geopolitical tensions
  • Scarcity
  • Wage stagnation
  • Fiscal policies
  • Globalization
  • Financial strain
  • Economic factors
  • Subsidy cuts
  • Technological advancements
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