IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#youth #crimes #parents #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some people that employees should join the high salary jobs and
this
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 will reflect on the stability of their families.
Although
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 money is on the priorities for most people who search for new jobs, I believe that it is not the only factor
.
Accept space
.
This
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 essay will discuss the importance of high
income
Use synonyms
 for the families as well as the impact of other factors on the individuals.
To begin
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 with, there are some reasons why the high salary is one of the significant factors when the employee chooses his occupation. One reason is if people earn more money, their families will live secured. A prime example is a good
income
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 helps all family members to purchase all assorted types of food.
Moreover
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, people can travel abroad for tourism or even to study if they have sufficient financial resources.
Hence
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, it is suggested that people should search for jobs with good
income
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 which help them to find the safe life they wish.
However
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, there are other points which should be in consideration when the one chooses his new
work
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.
In other words
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, if people have
passion
Suggestion
a passion
 and interest in their
work
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, they will continue in positions for several years.
For instance
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, individuals
work
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 in a friendly environment which enables them to enjoy when they doing the daily tasks of
work
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 and show more interest during duty times can be promoted faster and achieving career progress. Having given
this
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 example, it is clear that some people do not think that money is not enough factor to choose their jobs. In conclusion, after the essay has shown the benefits of high salaries for
people
Suggestion
person's
 life`s stability and the other factors for choosing jobs. In my opinion, passion, interest and friendly
work
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 environment are essential factors when people choose
job
Suggestion
a job
 as well as high
income
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • equip
  • psychological
  • constructively
  • foster
  • empowered
  • isolated
  • escalation
  • multi-faceted approach
  • eradicate
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
What to do next:
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