Some parents claim that advertisements are misleading for children while others allege that they provide useful information. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some argue that the
advertisements
are misleading
children
,
while
others claim that they are useful
information
. Nowadays,
commercials
create awareness, and it is easy to manipulate
children
.
To begin
with, the
advertisements
impart various
information
to the
children
, like their usage and their importance to them. Despite making accusations in
advertisements
, it is vital to understand the concept of
commercials
.
Whereas
, they provide
information
about discounts, and the customers can take advantage of them.
For instance
, if the
children
see an advertisement for an online course with a discount on it, it could benefit them more than investing money without knowing that. To reiterate, without
commercials
, it is harder to know about the products and could lose many advantages.
On the other hand
,
advertisements
can easily influence
children
and make them think they are irrational. Because
children
are sensitive and easy to manipulate, they are
also
captivated by those
advertisements
. These days, organisations target
children
to make profits
instead
of making purposeful ads.
For example
, a survey conducted in one region found that an advertisement for the drug made a skyrocketing profit by establishing that ad. Notably, those drugs were used by minors a lot. These kinds of misleading
children
in those manners are increasing nowadays.
Thus
, many people argue that these kinds of
advertisements
should be considered illicit.
To conclude
, in my perspective, it is essential to understand and teach
children
about
commercials
. If the
children
start to understand the real conception of
advertisements
, there won’t be any misleading
information
.
Therefore
, proper guidance should be given to the
children
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Task Achievement
The essay lacks a fully developed introduction and conclusion. These are essential for framing your discussion and summarizing your main points and opinion. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the views you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your discussion and clearly states your opinion.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented in the essay need to be more developed and expanded upon with clear and relevant examples. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and supporting details that demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical flow between ideas and paragraphs could be improved. Make more effective use of cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases to create a smoother narrative that is easier to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on paragraph structuring to clearly distinguish between different points of view. Each paragraph should focus on a single aspect of the argument, providing a clear and comprehensive exploration of that point.
Language Proficiency
Be vigilant about grammar and vocabulary errors as they can obfuscate your arguments and reduce the clarity of your essay. Regular practice and review of grammar rules can be beneficial.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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