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Band 5.5

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business hospitals crime detection and even to fly planes

#computers #business #hospitals #crime #detection #planes
It is commonly believed that families are not close as they used to be. I strongly agree with the above statement as
this
 situation mostly depends on social and economic factors of people.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons for not maintaining the relationship between family and will suggest all possible measures to overcome these circumstances
Firstly
, due to developed economy and technology employees is working for long hours without spending a reasonable
time
 with their children.
Also
 during the weekends parents are becoming workaholic and trying to complete their pending household chores,
consequently
 the connection between parents and children is becoming vulnerable
Se
condly with t
Accept comma addition
Secondly, with
he advanced technology most of the children are utilizing their leisure moments with cell phones and social media, not only kids but
also
 parents are wasting
time
 on Facebook. Now a day’s people are mostly trying to connect with the world rather maintaining family strength. Another key point is that, with the enhanced mindset, adults are making decisions without family involvement and choosing their career goals without the consent of the family According to me, parents should spend an adequate
time
 with their children,
also
 try to avoid all the electronic gadgets at home for some
time
. If possible they should discuss about their life goals and aims and should discuss all the possible suggestions Another practise is that the entire family should eat together every day, attest during weekends they should visit temples ,
v
Accept space
,
isiting amusement parks together as well should do some fun activities at home will strengthen the family relationship. To conclude, I personally believe we people need to focus more on family, we must believe that family is everything and work, friends and all other things come
next
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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