Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, other think that is affected by other factors.Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors

While the majority of people believe that happiness depended on individual

person

's responsibility, others argue that it caused by several other factors. In my opinion, external factors play crucial role in making

person

Suggestion

people

a person

happy.

This

essay will discuss both the viewpoints. Happiness is

sole responsibility

Suggestion

the sole responsibility

of an individuals by many people.

This

is because, Happiness depends on

persons state

Suggestion

a person's state

person's state

the person's state

mind

Accept space

emotions. Every

person

have

ability

Suggestion

the ability

to control one's emotions.

Moreover

, It is

control

Suggestion

controlled

by reading books

Accept space

yoga and meditations.

For example

, doing yoga practice in

early morning

Suggestion

the early morning

that give a fresh energy

Accept space

making happy to us. Many institutions can guide how to take control of state of

mind

Accept space

yoga

practicies

a customary way of operation or behavior

practices

practice

Accept space

mediatation

continuous and profound contemplation or musing on a subject or series of subjects of a deep or abstruse nature

meditation

practicies

a customary way of operation or behavior

practices

practice

and maintain good health with peaceful

mind

Hapiness

Suggestion

Happiness

is plays

Suggestion

plays

is playing

has played

vital role in

individuals

Suggestion

individual's

individual

individuals'

person

's life and they will get satisfaction after doing

this activities

Suggestion

these activities

this activity

On the other hand

such

people consider external factors that are crucial for individual persons.

That is

to say Every

person

has expectations

Accept space

dreams

Accept space

good job. People often satisfied after achieving all

this things

Suggestion

these things

this thing

and brings with achievement.

Furthermore

, research has proved that some time weather plays a vital

rolerole

Suggestion

role role

to change the state of

mind

of an individual

person

and makes happy.

For instance

, according to

research Pune city

Suggestion

the research Pune city

is one of the best city due to its pleasant weather. Every

person

feels satisfied after achieve and fulfil

this things

Suggestion

these things

this thing

and that makes happy and satisfied. In conclusion,

although

many people think that happiness is not only depends on individual

person

's responsibility, it can be depends on

person

's expectations, dreams that will give satisfaction and making happy. Happiness plays vital role in individual

person

's life with several other factors.

Submitted by Ishaan433 on Sat Apr 04 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

individual responsibility
personal mindset
proactive steps
self-improvement
socio-economic status
relationships
environmental conditions
external factors
positive attitude
pursuit of happiness
facilitate
hamper
proactive engagement
sense of achievement
conducive environment

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Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, other think that is affected by other factors.Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Despite better access to education, many adults today still can not read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged?

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

You have arranged to visit a friend in england but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.