Public celebrations(such as national days, festivals etc) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, most of the world conducts general parties, namely domestic days or festivals,

although

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it will cost them a lot. Several

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apply

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argue that the authorities should focus their funds on more vital issues.

This

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essay disagrees with

this

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viewpoint since these practices can enhance the economy

while

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also

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encouraging internal pride and solidarity.

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with, investing in public celebrations can significantly boost the local economy through tourism.

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due to

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the fact

this

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approach attracts visitors both nationally and internationally, leading to increased spending in the hospitality and retail sectors.

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, during the International Islamic Fair in 2010, numerous hotels in Jakarta saw an increase in occupancy to nearly 100%, and the bulk of

travelers

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travellers

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spent their money in local markets and restaurants.

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, the economic value of transactions in Jakarta was projected to have doubled during

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period.

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, social events are essential for fostering civil pride and unity among citizens.

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is owing to the fact that they remind individuals of their country's history and cultural heritage, creating a sense of belonging and togetherness. Without

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practice, a nation with culturally diverse populations may struggle to unite its residents.

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, the national Independence Day, held annually by the Indonesian government on August 17, successfully connected more than 30 ethnic groupings in the country in the spirit of Indonesian togetherness.

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is unlikely to happen if the country does not observe National Independence Day. In conclusion, despite mass gatherings requiring funding, the government should invest in

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practice as it can improve its economic position and provide communities with a sense of cohesiveness and pride in their nation.

ru.kabiru.biruTue Feb 13 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay clearly addresses the task throughout, focusing on directly answering the question stated. Your essay did well in presenting and maintaining a clear position, but further emphasizing your stance in each paragraph could make your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly to ensure a better flow of information. While your essay has a good structure, using a wider range of linking words and phrases could enhance the connection between your ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

While you provided relevant examples, remember to elaborate on these to fully demonstrate their impact on your argument. For each example provided, explain why it supports your position in more depth.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fostering
national pride
unity
cultural heritage
sense of belonging
boost the local economy
hospitality and retail sectors
showcase
global audience
foreign relations
multifaceted
allocating
quality of life
social inclusion
cohesive and inclusive society

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Public celebrations(such as national days, festivals etc) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others believe that people should be free to do any sports or activities . Discuss both views and give your opinion . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience .

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think the public library is necessary, ; however, others believe that the public library is useless. Express your opinion and provide some relevant examples.