There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert...) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree
An emerging trend that has generated a widespread phenomenon in the entertainment industry is watching
movies
at home. Taking all the convenience into account, I am inclined to believe that watching movies
on personal screens is much better than seeing the
staged performances. Not only will watching Correct article usage
apply
movie
at home help us to save our precious time, but it can Fix the agreement mistake
movies
also
be a private area to enjoy TV
series.
To look at the entertainment aspect, the most important factor to consider is the daily form of recreation. If a person is using some private applications, or browsing websites while
relaxing against some pillows with the TV
playing in the background, instead
of uncomfortable
going direct to the social cinema, it will be one of the best options for their budget. Add a missing verb
being uncomfortable
Such
forms of entertainment, moreover
, will create a private space for us to watch wonderful movies
without irritating others intensely. Another point that needs to be taken into consideration is that the more people are around, the more bad emotional feelings we will get. Even though it is true that we always find confidence and truly happy
whenever we can gather with friends or family members, which can be ruined Replace the word
happiness
while
watching in the social cinema with strangers. In order to avoid this
situation, all we need to do is be on our own, find a great Tv
show and relax.
With that being said, Correct your spelling
TV
however
, everything always has its defective sides and it
is pretty true Correct pronoun usage
this
on
Change preposition
in
home-movie
watching. What really makes the audience truly bored with the film is Correct your spelling
home movie
a
distraction. Correct article usage
the
For example
, assuming a person is watching his favourite movie, he might be momentarily distracted by social media platforms such
as Facebook, Instagram or even the notification of messages which is pretty unpleasant. Due to
the fact that watching movies
in our private area can affect negatively our routine, we might be
immersed in blockbuster Verb problem
become
movies
or Tv
series and Correct your spelling
TV
be
lazy. Verb problem
become
In addition
, the blue light of computer screens will cause some contemporary symptoms such
as eye strain, blur
vision or headache.
In conclusion, watching Replace the word
blurred
the
Correct article usage
apply
movie
is on the rise, and watching Fix the agreement mistake
movies
movies
on computer
trend brings both advantages and disadvantages to Correct article usage
the computer
our self
and Correct your spelling
ourselves
the
others. Moderation is the key to Correct article usage
apply
maintain
balance and Wrong verb form
maintaining
solve
these problems effectively.Wrong verb form
solving
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Content
The essay briefly sways from the topic of live performances versus home-viewing, discussing social cinema instead. Stick more closely to the given topic.
Form
The essay could benefit from better paragraph structure. Some sentences can be shortened and more concise, avoid overly verbose or floral language.
Content
Though you touched upon it in your third paragraph, there could be more specific examples or experiences related to watching a live performance rather than watching on TV or a computer screen.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
