There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert...) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree

#performance #concert #tv #computer #screen

An emerging trend that has generated a widespread phenomenon in the entertainment industry is watching

movies

at home. Taking all the convenience into account, I am inclined to believe that watching

movies

on personal screens is much better than seeing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

staged performances. Not only will watching

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

at home help us to save our precious time, but it can

also

be a private area to enjoy

series. To look at the entertainment aspect, the most important factor to consider is the daily form of recreation. If a person is using some private applications, or browsing websites

while

relaxing against some pillows with the

playing in the background,

instead

uncomfortable

Add a missing verb

being uncomfortable

show examples

going direct to the social cinema, it will be one of the best options for their budget.

Such

forms of entertainment,

moreover

, will create a private space for us to watch wonderful

movies

without irritating others intensely. Another point that needs to be taken into consideration is that the more people are around, the more bad emotional feelings we will get. Even though it is true that we always find confidence and truly

happy

Replace the word

happiness

show examples

whenever we can gather with friends or family members, which can be ruined

while

watching in the social cinema with strangers. In order to avoid

this

situation, all we need to do is be on our own, find a great

Correct your spelling

show examples

show and relax. With that being said,

however

, everything always has its defective sides and

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

is pretty true

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show examples

home-movie

Correct your spelling

home movie

show examples

watching. What really makes the audience truly bored with the film is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

distraction.

For example

, assuming a person is watching his favourite movie, he might be momentarily distracted by social media platforms

such

as Facebook, Instagram or even the notification of messages which is pretty unpleasant.

Due to

the fact that watching

movies

in our private area can affect negatively our routine, we might

Verb problem

become

show examples

immersed in blockbuster

movies

Correct your spelling

show examples

series and

Verb problem

become

show examples

lazy.

In addition

, the blue light of computer screens will cause some contemporary symptoms

such

as eye strain,

blur

Replace the word

blurred

show examples

vision or headache. In conclusion, watching

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

is on the rise, and watching

movies

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

trend brings both advantages and disadvantages to

our self

Correct your spelling

ourselves

show examples

and

the

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apply

show examples

others. Moderation is the key to

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintaining

show examples

balance and

solve

Wrong verb form

solving

show examples

these problems effectively.

Sat Apr 04 2020

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Content

The essay briefly sways from the topic of live performances versus home-viewing, discussing social cinema instead. Stick more closely to the given topic.

Form

The essay could benefit from better paragraph structure. Some sentences can be shortened and more concise, avoid overly verbose or floral language.

Content

Though you touched upon it in your third paragraph, there could be more specific examples or experiences related to watching a live performance rather than watching on TV or a computer screen.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

384 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert...) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree

Word Count

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.

A new sports centre has opened in your area. You want to visit the new sports centre and get some information. Write an letter to your friend to invite him/her.

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.