IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant’s manager. In your letter, -Explain that you would like to apply for the job -Give some details of any relevant experience that you have -Specify the days and times that would suit you

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I am writing to apply for the position which was advertised on your Instagram account. My name is Negar and I live near your restaurant, a walk distance
10
Change preposition
of 10
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 minutes approximately. I have
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 experience in cooking
along with
Linking Words
 serving special food
such
Linking Words
 as steak on fire. I
was working
Wrong verb form
worked
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 in Chalet restaurant for three years as
waitress
Add an article
a waitress
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,
while
Linking Words
 I was studying
in
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at
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 the university. Apart from my duties
such
Linking Words
 as taking orders and cleaning, I have learnt to serve unique steaks with fire. By 2022, I had participated in some cooking
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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 and
currently
Add a comma
currently,
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 I am working as a chef
in
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at
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 Deja Vu restaurant on weekdays and I am looking for weekend shifts.
However
Linking Words
, I can
also
Linking Words
 work on weekdays after 3 pm. I am an
ethusiastic
Correct your spelling
enthusiastic
 and hard-working person and with my great skills and appropriate experience, I would be able to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 your food quality. I look forward to receiving your
respond
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response
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. Yours faithfully, Negar Sedigh

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task achievement
You effectively presented your application and relevant experiences, maintaining a clear focus throughout the letter. To further enhance your response, consider providing more specific examples of how your skills could directly benefit the restaurant.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider proofreading your letter to correct small typographical errors (e.g., "relevent" should be "relevant", and remember to use periods at the end of sentences). This will make your letter even more polished and professional.
coherence cohesion
You clearly structured your letter, including an introduction, body paragraphs detailing your experience and availability, and a closing statement, which reflects a good organizational pattern.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience and specific skills (like serving "steak on fire") was an excellent way to demonstrate your suitability for the job.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • hospitality
  • customer service
  • availability
  • flexibility
  • relevant experience
  • part-time
  • apply
  • enthusiastic
  • schedule
  • diligent
  • team player
  • efficient
  • detail-oriented
  • proactive
  • communicative
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