IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant’s manager. In your letter, -Explain that you would like to apply for the job -Give some details of any relevant experience that you have -Specify the days and times that would suit you

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I am writing to apply for the position which was advertised on your Instagram account. My name is Negar and I live near your restaurant, a walk distance
10
Change preposition
of 10

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 minutes approximately. I have
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant

If you don’t want relevent to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

experience in cooking
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 serving special food
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as steak on fire. I
was working
Wrong verb form
worked

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb was working. Consider changing it.

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 in Chalet restaurant for three years as
waitress
Add an article
a waitress

The noun phrase waitress seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I was studying
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 the university. Apart from my duties
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as taking orders and cleaning, I have learnt to serve unique steaks with fire. By 2022, I had participated in some cooking
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes

It seems that class may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 and
currently
Add a comma
currently,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase currently. Consider adding a comma.

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 I am working as a chef
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 Deja Vu restaurant on weekdays and I am looking for weekend shifts.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 work on weekdays after 3 pm. I am an
ethusiastic
Correct your spelling
enthusiastic

If you don’t want ethusiastic to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and hard-working person and with my great skills and appropriate experience, I would be able to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise

The word rise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 your food quality. I look forward to receiving your
respond
Replace the word
response

The word respond doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. Yours faithfully, Negar Sedigh

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task achievement
You effectively presented your application and relevant experiences, maintaining a clear focus throughout the letter. To further enhance your response, consider providing more specific examples of how your skills could directly benefit the restaurant.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider proofreading your letter to correct small typographical errors (e.g., "relevent" should be "relevant", and remember to use periods at the end of sentences). This will make your letter even more polished and professional.
coherence cohesion
You clearly structured your letter, including an introduction, body paragraphs detailing your experience and availability, and a closing statement, which reflects a good organizational pattern.
task achievement
Your use of personal experience and specific skills (like serving "steak on fire") was an excellent way to demonstrate your suitability for the job.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunity
  • hospitality
  • customer service
  • availability
  • flexibility
  • relevant experience
  • part-time
  • apply
  • enthusiastic
  • schedule
  • diligent
  • team player
  • efficient
  • detail-oriented
  • proactive
  • communicative
What to do next:
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