IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
It is argued that advertisement incentives superfluous purchases, while some individuals advocate that advertising informs the population about fresh items released in the market, which can make our lives easier. From my perspective, I completely agree with the
first
 point-of-view.
To begin
 with, the main goal of the advertisement is to sell goods, no matter if the buyer needs the product or not, due to how the market works,
therefore
, if an industry has developed a product, the
next
 step in the natural process of the market is to advertise it in order to sell it.
For instance
, a survey
last
 year indicated that 85% of the items which were announced during The Bachelor show had an increase in the purchases. Apart from that, nowadays, a myriad of people just buy goods apparently for no reason, given that they are wealthy and
consequently
 they feel they must have the latest car or
yyacht
Suggestion
y yacht
.
Furthermore
, the advertisement industry invests
tremendous amount
Suggestion
a tremendous amount
 of money in surveys to understand the human mind, since they want to choose the best way to catch people’s attention and, as a consequence, sell more.
For example
, a recent study found that marketing industry investments in targeting children’s audience have never been so high, as they really promote great sellings.
In addition
, the society today seems to overvalue money, because success is not who you are, but how much you earn,
therefore
 an individual is not educated to buy only what he or she needs, but to buy things they do not need and show off what they bought. To conclude, in my opinion, I do believe that advertising encourages people to buy products they do not need.
Submitted by bele_sales on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: