IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason, younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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 day and
age
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, with technology having reached an admirable level, many companies are now willing to employ younger
workers
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 rather than older ones, despite the lack of experience. In my opinion,
although
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 it may be quite a challenge at
first,
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it is the best decision and offers the most benefits for the
company
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. First and foremost, younger generations can boost productivity and work actively. It is true that young individuals are extremely adaptive in every environment. The flexibility of the brain allows them to outperform their older counterparts. Not only that,
young
Correct word choice
but young
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workers
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 are more active and can work at full capacity. They reach their prime
age
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, which enables them to use their brains to their fullest potential. The constant development of their mental capacity means they hardly forget anything.
In addition
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, they can endure the pain and hardship of work, which gives them the energy to handle all tasks efficiently.
For instance
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, young individuals adapt to technology quickly and learn new skills more effectively.
Secondly
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, young employees often bring new ideas and introduce innovative strategies for the
company
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.
However
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, we must not look down on older
workers
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, as they are highly accurate, experienced, and capable of producing solid results. Either way, it’s important to
recognize
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recognise
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 that the incorporation of both
age
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 groups is much more beneficial. A team made up of mixed-
age
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 members can create a strong foundation for success. It is crucial to note that young people are creative, smart-thinking, and dynamic with new ideas,
while
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 older employees are regarded for their wealth of experience, certainty in decision-making, and ability to predict real outcomes.
This
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 is why relying solely on young applicants can sometimes be a drawback
—
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,
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due to
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 a lack of an overview perspective. As a young employee, one may not yet be aware of the risks that lie ahead until they are already facing failure.
On the other hand
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, corporations composed only of older
workers
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 may miss out on radical, innovative ideas that make a
company
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 unique. The
company
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 may not be as dynamic as expected and may see a decrease in customer satisfaction. In conclusion, it is better if the
company
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 maintains a balance between both
age
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 groups.
This
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 approach can bring the best of both worlds, boost innovation and productivity, and ultimately help increase the
company
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’s income.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Each idea should connect to the question clearly.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your conclusion clearly reflects the arguments made in the essay. It should summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
You have a good range of ideas and arguments about young and older workers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • workers
  • experience
  • valuable
  • insights
  • perspectives
  • flexible
  • learn
  • skills
  • technology
  • challenges
  • perspectives
  • stability
  • reliability
  • diversity
  • team
  • energy
  • discrimination
  • loss
  • talent
  • employers
  • assess
  • adaptability
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