Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

#shops #supermarkets #area #effect #communities #situation

A growing global trend in the establishment of supermarket chains has been witnessed. Their arrival in the market has surely made our lives convenient, but it has

also

become a prime cause of the closure of local

businesses

This

essay will explain the effects of its existence on local communities and

also

suggest ways to improvise. Small business owners and communities have been severely affected by the arrival of these big grocery stores. One of the most inflicting pain points is financial loss. People nowadays visit supermarkets to shop for their daily needs, as they get everything under one roof, which

spares

Verb problem

prevents

show examples

them from travelling and wasting time in order to obtain different things.

Due to

this

, there is less foot traffic at local

businesses

, and

hence

they are becoming obsolete. Apart from the economic loss, communities are

also

impacted socially. Often, local

shops

are meeting hubs for residents living in the area; the closure of these

shops

will weaken the bond within the community. There are several ways the government and society can lend a helping hand to ensure the sustenance of these public

shops

. One of the most effective ways is through government-funded financial campaigns, where the government lures people to shop locally and

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

show examples

a discount on their next two purchases.

This

will surely attract and motivate a lot of customers to buy local products. Another initiative that will guarantee the existence of these small

shops

is that local councils can organise monthly market fairs for the community, where all local

businesses

get a chance to exhibit their products and services directly to the local population.

To sum up

, in order to ensure the prosperity and growth of our community and society, it is essential to support and promote local

businesses

Otherwise

, these multinational corporations will dictate our society and control not just our finances but

also

impact us socially.

Submitted by assudanikanchan1 on Sun Jun 30 2024

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Task Achievement

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, work on further elaborating each point with more specific examples to enhance the overall comprehension.

Coherence and Cohesion

While the essay maintains a logical structure and flows well from one point to another, using more transitional phrases can improve coherence and make the connections between points even clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on its main idea, and avoid introducing too many concepts at once. This will help maintain clarity and cohesion.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both the effects on local communities and possible improvements.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main points effectively.

Task Achievement

The main points are well-supported by logical reasoning, contributing to the overall persuasiveness of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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You use public trasnport and have been facing issues. Write a letter to the public transport autoroties. In your letter include: why public transport is important to you what problem you face suggest what can be done to improve public transport

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what coule be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.