Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?
A growing global trend in the establishment of supermarket chains has been witnessed. Their arrival in the market has surely made our lives convenient, but it has
also
become a prime cause of the closure of local businesses
. This
essay will explain the effects of its existence on local communities and also
suggest ways to improvise.
Small business owners and communities have been severely affected by the arrival of these big grocery stores. One of the most inflicting pain points is financial loss. People nowadays visit supermarkets to shop for their daily needs, as they get everything under one roof, which spares
them from travelling and wasting time in order to obtain different things. Verb problem
prevents
Due to
this
, there is less foot traffic at local businesses
, and hence
they are becoming obsolete. Apart from the economic loss, communities are also
impacted socially. Often, local shops
are meeting hubs for residents living in the area; the closure of these shops
will weaken the bond within the community.
There are several ways the government and society can lend a helping hand to ensure the sustenance of these public shops
. One of the most effective ways is through government-funded financial campaigns, where the government lures people to shop locally and gets
a discount on their next two purchases. Correct subject-verb agreement
get
This
will surely attract and motivate a lot of customers to buy local products. Another initiative that will guarantee the existence of these small shops
is that local councils can organise monthly market fairs for the community, where all local businesses
get a chance to exhibit their products and services directly to the local population.
To sum up
, in order to ensure the prosperity and growth of our community and society, it is essential to support and promote local businesses
. Otherwise
, these multinational corporations will dictate our society and control not just our finances but also
impact us socially.Submitted by assudanikanchan1 on
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Task Achievement
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, work on further elaborating each point with more specific examples to enhance the overall comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay maintains a logical structure and flows well from one point to another, using more transitional phrases can improve coherence and make the connections between points even clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on its main idea, and avoid introducing too many concepts at once. This will help maintain clarity and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both the effects on local communities and possible improvements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The main points are well-supported by logical reasoning, contributing to the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.