Many people who dropout of school are more successful than those who complete their studies. Why does this happen? What does it require to be successful?

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Introduction

Over the few past centuries,

people

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who completed formal education were considered to be certainly successful.

However

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, today sees the roaring

success

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of many school

dropouts

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and a sizable percentage of graduates are suffering from unemployment or low incomes.

This

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phenomenon is attributed

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show examples

various

factors

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and some decisive elements to

success

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rather than qualifications have been identified.

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

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, there are several

causes

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associating

Wrong verb form

associated

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with

dropouts

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accomplishment

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accomplishments

show examples

First,

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Dropouts’

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Dropout’

show examples

success

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stories are greatly influenced by internal

causes

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. Inborn qualities

such

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as superior intelligence and unexceptional determination make some

people

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successful without obtaining any formal degrees. The famous cases of Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, et cetera well exemplified the idea.

Second,

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External

causes

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also

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play a crucial role.

Dropouts

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often undergo less pressure from

family’s

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family

show examples

expectations or student loans, which

allow

Correct subject-verb agreement

allows

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them to experiment

new

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with new

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ideas without fearing failure. During their free journey of self-discovery, these

people

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will observe numerous issues of the world and acquire valuable skills for life, which are fundamental for their later

career

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careers

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Body paragraph 2

Secondly

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success

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can be

contributed

Verb problem

attributed

show examples

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different

factors

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. In order to be successful, subjective

factors

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such

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as talents, hard work, ambition and a heated desire to learn are of utmost priority. These help

people

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stand out from innumerable candidates, and motivate them to work relentlessly towards their goals and continually broaden their knowledge. Successful

people

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, varying from entertainment to politics and business all share that these are the key elements to their achievements. The importance of objective

factors

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should not be neglected, too. Sometimes a stroke of luck or a sudden move in the market can remarkably change the situation of a person or an organization.

Conclusion

To summarize, the

success

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of school

dropouts

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in particular

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or anyone in general is the

results

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result

show examples

of both inner and outer

causes

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However

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, it is the former that

success

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depends on the most, so

people

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should not wait for their time to come but start working immediately.

Apr 5, 2020

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the question and provides a clear position on the issue.

coherence cohesion

The essay displays a clear structure and progression of ideas, but could benefit from stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Many people who dropout of school are more successful than those who complete their studies. Why does this happen? What does it require to be successful?

The Best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disage?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statment

ome people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that advertisements of toys and snacks have a huge impact on children and their parents, and therefore advertising to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give your own opinion.