BothGovernment and individuals are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with the fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

#bothgovernment #individuals #amount #money #animals #habitats #society #poverty #health #care

Government is investing, financial support to every sector. Nowadays, not only power authorities, but

also

several individuals supporting the animal protection scheme by spending a large amount of money some people consider that it is more effective if

this

fund utilised for major social issues

such

as poverty and medical

care

. To a great extent I disagree with

this

statement. To commence with, humans and animals are living on Earth with a coexistence attitude. The decline of animals and their habitat may adversely affect the life of the ecosystem where humans are

also

a part. Proper protection of the natural home or environment of animals may encourage people's food productivity.

Thus

, can reduce the rate of poverty.

For example

, some of the plant pollination or growth is strengthened by the support of animals, so the decline of animal kingdom affects the progress of the plantation.

Hence

the funds to animal and habitat protection is

also

fundamental.

Moreover

, due to the inventions of modern technology is the healthcare field had a drastic information system. In every year government spending a proper amount of money to support the medical

care

units. If the law enforcement organisations give more assistance to medication, it affects the humans and nature harmony.

Therefore

, the amount used to protect the animals does not be a waste of money. Meanwhile that enables earth to maintain its peace. To conclude, it is true that a social problem

such

as poverty and medical

care

should be supported in its fullest. But to balance the life in the earth, government must take enough

care

of nature and animals by investing proper funds.

Submitted by christeenaambi on Sun Apr 05 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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BothGovernment and individuals are spending vast amount of money protecting animals and their habitats. This money could be better spent dealing with the fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (rewrite)

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about leg of sleep?