IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Happiness is generally considered to be the most important achievement in life. What exactly is happiness? How can people find happiness?

#happiness #achievement #life #people
Most people agree that
happiness
 is one of the most important parts of a person’s life.
This
 essay will explore the concept of
happiness
 and discuss ways people can become happier.
Happiness
 has several key elements.
First
 of all, for people to be happy, they must
also
 be content. Contentment is connected with many aspects of our
lives
Accept comma addition
lives, such
such
 as our physical bodies, appearance, finances, careers and relationships. If a person is not satisfied with all of these aspects of life, they will be unable to say they are happy.
Happiness
 is
also
 closely connected to a particular
state
 of mind. Sometimes people suffer depression not because of any tangible issue in their lives, but rather through a combination of unfortunate genetics or poor mental health. There are several ways that people can achieve a happy
state
 of mind.
Firstly
, external factors that can be changed need to be dealt with.
For example
, by finding a job they love or getting out of a bad relationship, a positive
state
 of mind will be easier to achieve.
In addition
, considering one’s own thinking process could help people to identify any bad thinking habits they may have fallen into. Doing
this
 will give people the opportunity to get into the practice of thinking positively. In conclusion, contentment and thinking habits are the two primary factors that define
happiness
, and by changing the circumstances that are within our power while remembering to have a healthy mindset, a continued
state
 of
happiness
 can be achieved.
Submitted by sanokulovjurabek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: