IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people who drop out of school are more successful than those who complete their studies. Why does this happen? What does it require to be successful?

It is commonly observed that the people who discontinue their studies in between are more successful in their lives in comparison with the people who complete their education.
This
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 is because, the practical knowledge is far more powerful than academic education. In my opinion, I believe hard
work
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 is a key to success.
To begin
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 with, the majority of people who drop out of
school
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 have a flourished career as compared to the university graduates, as evident in the past. The most suitable example is Mark Zukerburg, the CEO of Facebook, who left the Harvard University in the
Second
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 year, with having an idea in mind to create a social website, where people can communicate with each other.
Such
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 people choose to leave
school
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 in the middle because they have developed their practical knowledge to the highest level from the very young age, along with understanding the market trends.
Thus
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, it is easy for them to get their dream job by showing their practical skills.
Additionally
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,
such
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 people think that the education is not limited to the age factor and can be taken anytime, whereas the energy and enthusiasm required to achieve something different is only available at the early age.
Thus
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,
such
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 people prefer leaving
school
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 and start focusing on their career. In my opinion, the hard
work
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 plays a significant role in an individual’s success.
That is
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 to say, success comes to those who never quit and continue working on developing their skills, until they achieve their dream. To exemplify, Mr beans, a famous comic actor, who struggled for 20 years to become an actor, always got rejected due to his looks.
However
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, he continued his hard
work
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 and dedication, which eventually helped him to earn a fame at the end. Certainly, there is no shortcut to achieve dreams, one needs to devote the time and energy. To conclude, many people who drop out of the
school
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 and the university have established career due to their wide practical knowledge of the industry and market trends and I believe the most important factor to become a successful person is the hard
work
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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