Many people these days enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, watching

sports

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games

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television

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has become a major trend.

Although

Linking Words

there are plenty of drawbacks, I believe that the benefits are much more accessible for

people

Use synonyms

. Despite the drawbacks below, I think the advantages of watching

sports

Use synonyms

on TV are extremely useful for viewers.

Firstly

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, it helps individuals save more money. To be specific, it is much cheaper to watch

sports

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games

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television

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as supporters only have to pay a little money to get access.

By contrast

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, if

people

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choose to watch live events in a stadium, they have to pay the entrance fee for almost three or four times more.

Furthermore

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, if the stadium or arena is far away from where they live, it might cost extra fees.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

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can replay the

games

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as many times as they want. If the sport is taking place in another region or a country, the time of the game would be at midnight when

people

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are sleeping.

This

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means that individuals could watch the replay whenever they have spare time. Admittedly, there are a few fundamental disadvantages to watching

sports

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games

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television

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. One obvious problem is that spectators are unable to experience the passion. In some cases,

people

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may encounter hooligans who start shouting abuse and throwing bottles everywhere,

for instance

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This

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can certainly create an uncomfortable and even dangerous atmosphere

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Another detrimental aspect is that it is unhealthy for the supporters. To explain, sitting in front of a

television

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for a long time might lead to a sedentary lifestyle.

In addition

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people

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's bodies would gradually become stiff and rusty. To sum up, saving money and having great access to the game far outweigh any of the minor benefits that could result from watching

sports

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on TV.

s_syedyWed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

The introduction could be slightly expanded to provide more context on the topic.

task achievement

Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure transitions between ideas are seamless to maintain a smooth flow.

coherence cohesion

Concluding with a summary of the main points discussed can strengthen the conclusion.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

Main points are clear and logically structured, making it easy to follow the argument.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Many people these days enjoy watching sports on TV. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and includes relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

These days, fooddays, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages ?

In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subject. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your opinion.