IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development
It is undeniable that several countries have a tendency of funding sport infrastructure for professional athletes to acquire the global achievements these days,
instead
 of providing basic equipment and land for the public purpose.
Although
this
 can bring about some benefits, I strongly argue that its negative aspects are noticeable. On the one hand, it is understandable why the government should give a priority of infrastructure to the elite athletes to obtain good results for the country. Indeed, winning high prizes in international sports events, like Olympic, is considered not only an effective way to improve country image, but it will
also
 increase the patriotism among young generations and motivate them to exercise more. By improving the national branding, countries believe to have some economic advantages in
this
 competitive world.
Therefore
, investing an enormous amount of money in building training centres to provide athletes the best condition to practice can boost the national trading and economy, as well as create a respectful job which is worthy to pursue.
On the other hand
,
such
this
 unequal investment has potential risk of loss.
Firstly
, providing more public facilities for dwellers is a good way to reduce the burden on health care. Specifically, when citizens are encouraged to take exercise, they can tackle the risk of different common diseases
such
 as obesity, stroke and heart attack, which can help governments save a large amount of money on medical public services.
Besides
, it is apparent that the tax is contributed by the community.
Thus
,
this
 funding should be spent to improve people’s life.
Consequently
, if all the national resources are strongly emphasis on athletes while numerous of the health problem of citizens are ignored,
this
 would lead to the strong opposition from the public, even affecting the security of the nation. In conclusion, while spending state budget to enhance special facilities to achieve global sport metals is necessary, it is
also
 vital for the government to build public infrastructure for residents for social long – term benefits.
Submitted by thevu5698 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: