International sports events could contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world.Do you agree or disagree?Support your opinion with relevant examples.

7.0 / 9

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Introduction

It has become a question of debate whether the organisation of the global sports events is helpful in the maintenance of harmony and stability throughout the world or not.

This

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essay agrees with the given statement because

such

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events, promote cultural exchange and

furthermore

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, boosts the country's economy.

Body paragraph 1

First

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of all, sports tournaments provide opportunities for the players to know about the foreign culture.

This

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is due to the reason that when different nations participate in these special sports meet, players get ample chances to mingle with each other, which in turn, would help in the establishment of a healthy bond of relationships among them.

For instance

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, if cricket series is organised between two countries,

such

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as India and Australia,

then

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the players get to know each other well and their norms which encourages peace and security.

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Thus it

Accept comma addition

Thus, it

is appropriate to organise these meets periodically to maintain the feeling of fraternity.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover

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, the host nation is economically benefitted and

consequently

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, it enhances stability of the nation.Since innumerable tourists from all over the world come to watch these matches,

therefore

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they stay in the hosting countries and purchase tickets which adds to the nations' income.One particular good example of

this

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, Olympic games which are held after every four years in distinct nations, which not only give identity to their culture, but

also

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a source of making money for the host nations. To elucidate, these are a good source of the wealth of the organising nations.

Conclusion

To sum up, healthy sports activities would maintain the peaceful relationships and reduce the level of disputes among the nations.In the above paragraphs, it was discussed that these encourage the transmission of culture and progress of the nation.I think that these tournaments should be organised for the welfare of the global world.

Apr 6, 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

7.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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International sports events could contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world.Do you agree or disagree?Support your opinion with relevant examples.

Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly (services, information, tasks). Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Government investment in arts such as music and theater is a wastage of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Is this a positive or a negative step?