MANY PEOPLE ARE NOW SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME TRAVELLING TO WORK OR SCHOOL. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHILE OTHERS THINK THERE ARE SOME BENEFITS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

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Time
Use synonyms
is the most precious thing we have nowadays. Individuals are travelling far for their work and education. I believe there are more disadvantages than advantages to
this
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.
This
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essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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viewpoints. On the one hand, there are people who argue that commuting greater distances is beneficial. They think one might read a book or listen to a podcast
while
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travelling. I feel
this
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can be done better at home, where you are relaxed
,
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apply
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and more concentrated.
This
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is because you are not distracted by traffic.
For instance
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,
while
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driving you have to pay attention to cars and pedestrians.
Furthermore
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, when a person is multitasking
while
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driving, the chances of accidents
increases
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increase
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.
In contrast
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, if a person is paying full attention to only driving, the probability of any mishap decreases.
On the other hand
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, spending more
time
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travelling wastes a lot of
time
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.
This
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is because an average person spends a couple of hours commuting.
For example
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, if someone's school or workplace is
20KM
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20 km
away. It takes around an hour
driving
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to drive
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.
This
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time
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could have been spent on more important things like spending
time
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with your family.
In addition
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, if you save
this
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time
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, you get more to do things that
matters
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matter
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like working or studying.
To conclude
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, having your work closer to your home has more positives than negatives. You can enjoy life more by saving crucial
time
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,
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apply
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and being safe on the road by not getting distracted.
As a result
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, you are saving money because
time
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is money these days.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a clearer structure to your essay by using more defined paragraphs for each viewpoint and your opinion. Having a more distinct separation can help improve clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or personal anecdotes to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the key points discussed in the essay and reinforces your opinion more forcefully. This can help leave a stronger impression on the reader.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion of both views before giving your opinion, which is important for this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and flow logically, making it easy for the reader to understand your arguments.
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