Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you prefer?

I watched a lot of movies in different genres, as tragedy, comedy and epic. All films shot in good quality.

Linking Words

However I

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However, I

prefer to watch romantic movies about youth and I want to

write introduce

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write, introduce

one of my best films. MIDNIGHT SUN- is a 2018 American romantic

film

Use synonyms

. The

film

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star Bella Throne

(

Accept space

(

Katy) teenage girl with the disease ’Xeroderma Pigmetosum’ which prevents her from going out into sunlight. In the childhood she with their parents loved to go to the coast of the sea, her

mom

Suggestion

knew how to play the

guitar

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and she always hugged her and taught Katy how to play awesome songs

Suggestion

the

guitar

Use synonyms

Unfortunately her

Accept comma addition

Unfortunately, her

mother dead when she was a child and from birth she has an increased sensitivity to the sun,

therefore

Linking Words

she cannot leave

home

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during the

day

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, but not

inly

and nothing more

only

night

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, if the sun enters her skin she will get cancer and die and she had to stay at

home

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in the special room. Katy had only two close people who have always been with her ’

dad

Use synonyms

and her friend Morgan” As usual in the

day

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when she

play

Suggestion

plays

on the

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guitar she

Accept comma addition

guitar, she

saw a guy whose name was Charlie. He always went to school on a skateboard and Katy fell in

love

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with him, she became to watch how Charlie

Suggestion

goes

to school in front of Katie’s house.

Linking Words

However he

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However, he

did not know about her. Katy always went to the doctor, slept

Suggestion

the afternoon and hanging out at

night

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Time

Suggestion

The time

comes and they finish high school

Accept space

Katie’s

dad

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gives big present for graduating -

moms

Suggestion

man's

guitar

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. It was for her the most important gift. She decided to go to the train station and sing

song

Suggestion

a song

the song

songs

and suddenly Charlie heard beautiful voice,

than

subsequently or soon afterward (often used as sentence connectors)

then

he met the Katy. Katy was so exited when she saw Charlie and she will run away from fear upon seeing him,

Linking Words

however she

Accept comma addition

however, she

will forget

Suggestion

forgot

about her own diary and at that

time

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Linking Words

also fall

Suggestion

also falls

is also falling

has also fallen

love

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. The

Linking Words

day

Use synonyms

he will decide to stay at the station and wait her and he saw her than they get

know

Suggestion

to know

each other better. Charlie work

Suggestion

yacht

Suggestion

the yacht

a yacht

clean

Suggestion

cleans

it and he started bringing her there and every

night

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they started dating. After few days Charlie decided to show Seattle and meet with Katy’s father.

Suggestion

this

Linking Words

night

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they

hanging

Suggestion

are hanging

hang

out, they danced, recording the song, walk and laughed, even they

to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits

too

swam in the lake. After all, they sat and basked near the fire, looking at the starry sky. Unfortunately Katy hid her illness from Charlie, she did not notice how it was already sunrise. Seeing the ray of sunrise she ran

home

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with tears, but she did not have

time

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to get

home

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until the rays touched her body. Finding out Charlie about her

illness he

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illness, he

is very shocked. Every

day

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Katy with

dad

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went to the doctor and they found brain cancer, she left to live a few days. Charlie every

day

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came to

her but

Accept comma addition

her, but

she did not let her go

home

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and did not answer calls, because she was very sorry about

this

Linking Words

case.

Linking Words

However her

Accept comma addition

However, her

dad

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will persuade her, saying’ if you

love

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him very much, spend your remaining

time

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with him’ than they began to spend

time

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more often. One

day

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Katy decide to see the sun on

yacht

Suggestion

a yacht

the yacht

with Charlie and die… Charlie will continue his career in swimming, before

leaving he

Accept comma addition

leaving, he

says goodbye to

dad

Use synonyms

Katy and say goodbye to the soul with tears in their eyes. When Charlie sets off on the road to turn on the radio and hears the song of his beloved girl who recorded In Seattle, with tears he feels pain and joy upon hearing a voice of Katy. I

love

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this

Linking Words

film

Use synonyms

, because I learned better what true

love

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is between a girl and

guy

Suggestion

a guy

. To be

honest I

Accept comma addition

honest, I

cry when I watch

this

Linking Words

film

Use synonyms

, because it is familiar to me……

moonup17

Apr 6, 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

662 words

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