It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is better and much more interesting to go out for live entertainment, like shows and concerts than to stay at home by using some electronic devices. The essay will agree with the statement, because of having a good memory and getting some new abilities, which cannot be done by sitting at home .
To begin
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with, hanging out can leave a lot of memories in people's minds, as they express themselves and their feelings,
while
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watching live events , as an aura there can't be felt in apartments.
As a result
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, memory is a thing that nobody can take ,so individuals will remember it for a long period.
For example
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, research conducted by an international musical festival Zhara in Baku has illustrated that 98% of society came from different cultures and countries to watch the musical ceremonies for the memorial service that they receive from it.
Additionally
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, going out to these kinds of places provides a great and unique atmosphere that cannot be replicated at the house.
On the other hand
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, these kinds of performances,
such
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as shows used to teach humans new skills and information that can help them in different ways. That's to say, every show has a different story and topic,as it can be literature stories.
For instance
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, an interview was taken with a young girl called Jasmine, who likes to visit shows because of the method of learning about their stories. She discussed a time when it helped her in school. The literature teacher wanted her to explain the legend of Romeo and Juliet in detail, actually, she forgot to read it, but on previous days she went to the show with the same story. So, she remembered and explained. In conclusion, going out for a live performance is the best way to get recollections that will stay forever in our thoughts and fresh information that can be useful, rather than staying at an apartment.

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coherence
Ensure your ideas are clearly structured and logically developed. Some points appear to be introduced without full development, affecting clarity.
cohesion
Try varying your sentence structures and linking phrases to enhance the flow of your essay. This will help sustain reader engagement.
task achievement
You have a clear position on the topic and state your agreement effectively in the introduction.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the concert in Baku and the story of Jasmine, which enhance your points.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • foster
  • sense of community
  • social interaction
  • unique atmosphere
  • energy of the crowd
  • local economies
  • supporting artists
  • cultural events
  • personal growth
  • stimulate creativity
  • motivation
  • enjoyment
  • replicated
  • connections
  • shared interests
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