The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#amount #leisure #time #centers #influence #society

Nowadays, a lot of y

oungstersare

Suggestion

youngsters are

spending their precious

time

at the shopping malls. It is thought that it has a negative impact on them and society. I completely agree with

this

statement because of some reasons for

this

. Spending

time

in the shopping malls can be beneficial for youngsters in some cases. o

Suggestion

One

of them is that, buying things there they can learn how to choose high quality products themselves. Nowadays we often face a poor quality p

roducts

Suggestion

product

and youngsters should know what products good and not.

Also

, they will learn purchasing things considering their financial condition. Parents give to their child money for enjoying the entertainment and buying what they need. But sometimes there can be a lack of k

oney

the most common medium of exchange; functions as legal tender

money

to do both.

herefore they

Accept comma addition

Therefore, they

will learn how to divide the money for both for enjoying them.

However

, youngsters by spending a lot of

time

in shopping c

enters,

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

they c

an lost

Suggestion

can lose

one of their precious t

hing-

Suggestion

things

their

time

. In their early periods of l

ife it

Accept comma addition

life, it

is better spending

time

at libraries, reading books or self-studying rather than spending and wasting too much

time

at amusement places.

Also

, usually young people buy too much unneccessary things and waste the money

instead

of buying something beneficial for them In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that knowing the enjoyment and studying is very useful for them and for their future life

Mon Apr 06 2020

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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