Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

People have different views about the funding of good members of society. In my opinion, both parents and school play a crucial role in

this

process. On the one hand, parents should take a responsibility of their children's behaviour.

Firstly

, parents should pay more attention to being their children respectful towards others. Anybody tries to avoid talking with disrespectful people, with the people, who

can not

cannot

listen and understand the situation.

Furthemore

in addition

Furthermore

good

Suggestion

better

behave- is one of the most valuable qualities of

person

Suggestion

a person

the person

persons

people

. It always looks good on everybody, and helps to gain

high estimate

Suggestion

a high estimate

at own charges. And it is much easier for

highbred

Suggestion

high-bred

hybrid

person to come to an understanding with anybody around them.

On the other hand

, communication skills play the same role as a good behaviour. Dealing with the number of people is a very important, nowadays. Youth may develop

such

skill through the being a part of the group. And school- is the most suitable and

accessable

capable of being reached

accessible

place for it. Talking with classmates, working with them in one group

create

Suggestion

creates

a foundation of professional communication skills, which might be useful in the near future.

In addition

managment

the act of managing something

management

skills required in all companies over the world, because, working with clients is a main priority of all of them. In conclusion, it seems to me that parents' influence as the same as

school's

Suggestion

the school's

Therefore it

Accept comma addition

Therefore, it

neccessary

absolutely essential

necessary

, to provide as much as possible attention to children, for helping them to find their place in the society.

Submitted by saidov.khabib_as on Mon Apr 06 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Fully explain your ideas

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