Public celebrations (festivals, national day) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important issues. Do you agree or disagree?

#celebrations #festivals #countries #people #government #money

Nowadays, the number of festivals or national events being held all over the world are rapidly increasing which leads to different countries spending

excessive amount

Suggestion

excessive amounts

an excessive amount

of money for them to be

successful

Accept comma addition

successful, however

however

many people believe that

thr

definite article

the

their

there

government should allocate their budget to more significant causes

such

as education and

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

. To commence with, festivals can be helpful to a nation's economy. Important national festivities can attract tourists to flock the events

place prompting

Accept comma addition

place, prompting

them to spend their money to purchase basic necessities

such

local foods, acquire comfortable

accomodation

making or becoming suitable; adjusting to circumstances

accommodation

accommodations

and buy souvenirs.

In addition

, these festivals can increase the popularity of a country

ang

located at or attached to

encourage

Suggestion

encouraging

investors to

operates

Suggestion

operate

different types of businesses.

As a result

, these festivals can bring more employment to the local residents and boost the tourism industry

thus

aiding to an improved economy

On the other hand

, festivities needs a huge budget in order to showcase show-stopping shows and invite visitors that can help influence and encourage tourist to come which can be distributed to more important entities

such

as the department of health and education. With regards to healthcare, there are evident lack of equipments and manpower which can be rectified by a bigger funding from the government. Meanwhile, it is

apparent especially

Accept comma addition

apparent, especially

in public schools that there is a declining number of teachers and teaching materials for students to utilize to ensure a quality learning experience for the younger generation. In conclusion, I partly agree that the government should give more significance to education and healthcare when allocating financial

respurces but

Accept comma addition

resources, but

resources but

can not

cannot

be denied that national events can be a way to generate income to a country.

Submitted by lovelybanusan231 on Tue Apr 07 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Public celebrations (festivals, national day) are held in some countries. Some people think that they are very expensive and the government should spend money on some other important issues. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

in many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside, Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis.Other people believe that world population is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society. Discuss both views and give your option.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?