Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that countries with long average working
time
are more likely to be richer than those which do not work for long hours arduously. From my perspective, I'm not convinced by
this
statement, because it really depends on what
type the
Accept comma addition
type, the
country
is, and
also
the average working
time
may be influenced by the peak
value
in a
country
.
First
of all, the history and degree of development of a
country
should be taken into consideration. Some developed countries where people are living a
leisure
Suggestion
leisurely
life and do not work strenuously are in fact richer than developing
coutries
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
. Because they have finished the accumulation of wealth in the past, which means they have already past the stage of earning more money and build up the fortune, to the point that they become a civilized welfare society now. Another notable point is, speaking of 'long average working
time
', the 'average' working
time
is influenced by peak
value
, bottom
value
, etc.
In other words
, a
country
's average working hours is determined by working hours in different regions within the
country
. To be exact, the average working hours of some poor/rural/less urbanized countries could be more likely to be less than that of the
metropolises
Suggestion
metropolis
. One clear example is the US, where people in the rural areas
(
Accept space
(
which accounted for a large portion in terms of both land area and population) in the south are living a leisure, rural life while those in metropolises like New York or Los Angeles are busy working day to day.
The short
Suggestion
The shortest
average working
time
in the US may
therefore
be pulled up by the low values of the rural areas with a large population, while as everyone knows the US is an economically successful
country
.
Therefore it
Accept comma addition
Therefore, it
is not objective and fair to attribute economic success to average working
time
. In conclusion, it is impartial to ascribe a nation's economic success or prosperity to average working
time
. There is no direct link between the two, due to many factors like degree of development and the definition of AVERAGE
value
.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic success
  • working hours
  • productivity
  • sustainable development
  • work-life balance
  • labor laws
  • efficiency
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • burnout
  • occupational health
  • technological innovation
  • industrialized nations
  • emerging economies
  • workforce
  • competitiveness
  • workplace culture
  • employee turnover
  • quality of life
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