the table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults

#results #-year #study #adults

Data regarding

20-year

Correct article usage

a 20-year

show examples

study into why

adults

in the UK attended arts events is given in form of a table. The information in the table is divided into four reasons

category

Fix the agreement mistake

category

, that was accompanying children. It was observed that in earlier times 9%

adults

Change preposition

of adults

show examples

took interest in

this

category

whereas

today 24%

adults

Change preposition

of adults

show examples

are interested.

Besides

this

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

two categories differ

accordingly

For instance

work

Correct article usage

the work

show examples

category

illustrates growth as moving towards

present

Add an article

the present

show examples

Whereas

special

Correct article usage

the special

show examples

occasion

category

contradicts to work

category

. The data in

this

category

shows

downfall

Correct article usage

the downfall

show examples

till today. To summarize, it was seen that

highest

Correct article usage

the highest

show examples

interest of

adults

was in

desire

Add an article

the desire

show examples

to see

specific

Add an article

a specific

the specific

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

However

, very less interest was seen in

work

Correct article usage

the work

show examples

/business field.

Submitted by jhanviprajapati567 on Tue Apr 07 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, whereas".

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, category with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

194 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the table below shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults

Organizational Structure & Designations of Walton Hi-Tech Industries PLC.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart shows the participation of children is selected leisure activities in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.