Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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More
people
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are currently working far away from their
families
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and friends.
Although
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many workers might experience homesickness, advancements in technology allow them to connect with their loves.
Moreover
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, working in other places benefits professional development , especially in career growth and higher income.
Hence
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, its advantages outweigh the drawbacks. The primary advantage of working in other areas is that it offers more opportunities to get better careers and high-paying jobs, contributing to a better life. It is undeniable that many great jobs are concentrated in the city centres so the companies have to pay more compared with the ones in rural areas.
For example
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, in my country, many teenagers decide to move into urban areas to find jobs with higher salaries and more opportunities to grow because
this
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can enhance their lives and
also
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their family status by sharing money back to them.
On the other hand
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, there is a drawback of being apart from their loves because
people
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tend to have homesickness.
Due to
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long working hours, workers probably feel exhausted so if they cannot meet their
families
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or friends after work, they will feel more lonely and drained.
However
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, as technology has developed, it is easier to connect with their loves through video calls or online meeting platforms, relieving their problems.
For example
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, talented Asian
people
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, who work in the US, definitely miss their
families
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but now they can use FaceTime to chat in real time and that makes them feel connected with their loved ones. In conclusion, it has become more common for
people
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to work far away from their friends and
families
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because there are more opportunities for career advancements in which they gain higher salaries.
Although
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there is a concern about homesickness,
this
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issue can be addressed by using technological devices, allowing them to connect with their
loved
Correct pronoun usage
loved ones
show examples
.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by addressing how the disadvantages might outweigh the advantages. This will strengthen your task response and provide a more comprehensive analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next for improved cohesion. Using more linking words or phrases can help tie your ideas together better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors and punctuation, which can enhance the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Good job on discussing both advantages and disadvantages in your essay, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and provide a clear illustration of your points, contributing positively to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • job opportunities
  • job market
  • salaries
  • personal growth
  • cultural horizons
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • global perspective
  • emotional and psychological impact
  • loved ones
  • loneliness
  • homesickness
  • support network
  • long-distance relationships
  • emotional strain
  • face-to-face interactions
  • financial cost
  • housing deposits
  • travel costs
  • living expenses
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