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Writing Samples
Band 4

Home schooling is getting a lot importance over traditional learning environment provided by schools. What is your opinion on the subject?

Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries are showing interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
home schooling
Use the right word
homeschooling
show examples
 in the world. Here we can discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons
one is
Verb problem
why
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 parents are getting busy with their work
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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second
Correct article usage
the second
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thing
Check wording
reason
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 is
many
Correct word choice
that many
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 education systems learn digital studies for business
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 ideal life
every
Punctuation problem
, every
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 parent more
busy
Replace the word
busier
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their office task. The number of families
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not interest
to combine
Change preposition
in combining
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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. So there is no option to take care
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
 when they are doing
endeavor
Check wording
apply
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more
after
Check wording
endeavours after
show examples
they spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time with
kids
Use synonyms
 to do
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
Use synonyms
home work
Use the right word
homework
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 their regular activities. Those parents are showing more interest in
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 academy because they may watch with
Use synonyms
kids
Correct pronoun usage
their kids
show examples
 how the teacher is explaining subjects and which method they are using
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 all. Advantages of
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
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 institute they do not go to
institute
Correct article usage
the institute
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
walk
Check wording
foot
show examples
 or
any
Change preposition
by any
show examples
 vehicle.The disadvantage is
also
Linking Words
 much more like
kids
Use synonyms
missed
Wrong verb form
miss
show examples
 their recess and physical activities
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
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loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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 their body fitness
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is very important for growing children
it
Punctuation problem
. It
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 will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
improve their thinking power and mind maturity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 societies follow digital technology in fewer countries than they develop their business because parents
looking
Verb problem
are looking
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
for this
show examples
 type
Change preposition
of education
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 system. So they think their child
got
Verb problem
has
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 knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
Faculties
Correct word choice
If faculties
show examples
not
Verb problem
do not
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 follow the traditional
leanings
Use the right word
learning
show examples
may they
Correct word order
they may
show examples
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
include some traditional learning
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 with digital technology
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will be more useful to children. In Conclusion,
Home
Use synonyms
 school improvement is not
a
Correct article usage
the
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 correct way
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 my opinion. Traditional learning improvement is good for
kids
Use synonyms
 with little bit changes
due to
Linking Words
 technology
is
Verb problem
apply
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growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
so fast
then
Linking Words
 it will be used
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your answer with a short intro, 2 or 3 main ideas in the body, and a clear end.
coherence
Link ideas with small, clear words like and, also, but, for example.
grammar
Use easy grammar and short sentences. Check for any big mistakes.
content
Add more real ideas or facts to back up your points. Give a simple example.
clarity
The view on homeschooling is clear.
relevance
The essay stays on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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