IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Providing financial aid to the poor can increase poverty. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aid #poverty
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are a lot of governments that give financial support to poor people in order to reduce the scarcity, some people believe that it is a great choice,
however
Linking Words
, in my opinion, it might improve the shortage, since who receive it do not try to change their lives and get better options in the future. It depends on which type of support it is, for how long time, who is helped and others situations. The financial help from the government to who need it without
further
Linking Words
 education will not be positive in the long term. Proof of
this
Linking Words
, there is a social program in Brazil called “Bolsa família”, since 2000, which should help only families with kids in the zone of poverty or below it. Following it, a lot of people do not apply for jobs or try to get a better job because they do not want to lose
this
Linking Words
 financial assistance, what in long time contribute to maintain the poverty. Undoubtedly,
this
Linking Words
 project helps a lot of Brazilians;
also
Linking Words
 provide opportunities for many families to improve their life’s quality. Even though, these benefited families do not receive instruction and information to increase their educational status. They know that they will receive it for a long time, so they do not even try to improve their capacity and efficiency. To sum up, the financial help from the government can improve the scarcity because the helped people might not try to improve their educational skills and probably they will not try to get a better job. Indeed, if the government not incentivize the education and the improvement of skills, the results of
this
Linking Words
 aid tend to be negative.
Submitted by dra.fernandavaleriano on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: