These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#amount #violence #television #impact #children #behaviour

Since television has become a new form of entertainment, we start seeing not only a growth of TV programs but

also

an increasing amount of violence, which may have a negative impact on the audience, the biggest part of which is children.

Therefore

, it is agreed that children’s behaviour can be affected by the rapid growth of cruelty on television. To start with, violence is broadcasted by content makers who do not care about the impact they may have on

the youngest

Suggestion

the younger

the young

generation. The TV crew is focused on involving more viewers in order to get money, so they do not always check the content before sharing it with others.

This

is why watching programs that promote aggressive behaviour is harmful to kids.

Consequently

, the effect might be unexpected, as the young audience has an undeveloped intellect. Media is a platform that influences not only people’s

opinions but

Accept comma addition

opinions, but

also

behaviour. The cruelty we

see changes our

Suggestion

see changes in our

see changes to our

society. It means that the more brutality is demonstrated, the more

underaged

not of legal age

underage

believe that

this

is a norm.

Moreover

, aggression is presented in an amusing way, as it is something that we are used to seeing daily. If

this

tendency rises, all social rules will not be relevant anymore. To sum up, brutality on TV might seem entertaining until youngsters start watching

this

. It is evident that the influence of

such

projects is dangerous

for

Suggestion

the primitive world of

little ones

Suggestion

the little ones

who replicate everything they see.

Additionally

, there are more interesting ways to occupy a child.

Submitted by gstukaeva on Wed Apr 08 2020

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that certain old buildings should be preserved more than others. What types of old buildings should be preserved? Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this is the case? Do you think this is a psitive or negative situation?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?