The diagram below show two different processes for manufacturing black tea.

The diagram below show two different processes for manufacturing black tea.
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The diagram illustrates how black
tea
Use synonyms
is produced for.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the traditional way is used for loose
tea
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
modern machinery is ideal for
tea
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bags. There are five steps in each process. The first stage is picking fresh
tea
Use synonyms
leaves, concluding
only
Change preposition
with only
show examples
the bud and two top leaves for high quality. After that, the leaves are put into the withering chamber, where are passed through on rack by air to get rid of approximately 60
percent
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per cent
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moisture.
Then
Linking Words
, factories use either the traditional method to make loose
tea
Use synonyms
by rolling leaves flat and broken or
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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way to create
tea
Use synonyms
bags when the leaves are cut, torn and curled. In the first process, enzymes are removed from leaves,
whereas
Linking Words
the other is quicker to make smaller granular pieces. At the
next
Linking Words
stage, rolled leaves with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
mixture of enzymes and air are spread on the tiles of the cement, called
oxidation
Correct article usage
the oxidation
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stage.
This
Linking Words
step can change the colour of leaves.
Finally
Linking Words
, when the
tea
Use synonyms
is fired or dried in the oven or in hot air dryers to get rid of 97
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
moisture,
flavour
Correct pronoun usage
its flavour
show examples
and aroma of it are released.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tea with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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