IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #government #money #arts
Many people argue that spending of public
money
 on the arts by the government is a wastage and it can be utilized elsewhere and I agree with them. In
this
 essay, I am going to support my opinion with examples.
Firstly
,
this
money
 can be spent on
health
 care to provide free
health
 benefits for the poor and needy. A lot of poor in the country cannot afford the treatments for several contagious and serious diseases and choose to ignore them.
This
 is an issue because it can result in a widespread of the illness which can be hard to contain if it infects a large amount of population.
For example
, In the recent COVID-19 outbreak, many people choose not to get themselves tested because the diagnosis costed more than what they can afford and resulted in a large number of people infected across the country. If the authorities are able to provide free
health
 care,
then
 the number of people who neglect the symptoms could drastically decrease and
this
 can result in curbing the
further
 spread of the diseases.
Furthermore
,
this
 benefit can
also
 lead to better
health
 standards of the nation.
Secondly
, the
money
 can
also
 be used to support the education of the talented by providing them with scholarships. Many talented students and the poor are forced to study in substandard institutions because they cannot afford the fee of reputed colleges.
For instance
, a friend of mine who had the talent to get into one of the top colleges in the country could not because the fee was beyond what he could manage, so he had to join a below-average local college. If the government could provide funding to these talented individuals,
then
 it could lead to the overall development of the nation in the long run as
this
 scheme can produce more scholars. To conclude,
instead
 of spending
money
 on the arts, governments can consider investing in
health
 care and education which in my view, are the better alternatives because of the advantages of improved
health
 and development of the nation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: