Organizing tours to remote places and communities is becoming more and more popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment?

Recently, some countries have promoted their special places and societies for global travellers again because they hope
there
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
to become famous locations for
people
.
Hence
, the phenomenon will bring a dilemma for local
people
and the
environment
since it has advantages and disadvantages . Increasing the local employment rate and protecting the
environment
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive influences for the locals. Raising the opportunity of employment for local
people
. Manpower, either high-qualification
people
or high-productive citizens, is the main element of developing popular communities. Take an example, the Hong Kong government developed a natural tour in Mei Po which is a biodiversity region and employed different abilities of residents to participate in the project. In
this
project, the government invited different parties,
such
as professors and residents, to get comments. Residents
also
have self-employment during the development of the tour because they can sell the local special food and introduce the local culture to the visitors.
Therefore
, it reduces unemployment and provides the chance to work for local
people
.
In addition
,
people
will pay more attention to the
environment
based on a worthy location. The surrounding
environment
is the treasure of organizing tours, so
people
protect the different local buildings and nature.
For example
, the Great Wall is a popular view in China so the Chinese and the related departments will check and care for it. More importantly, they will reforest the surrounding
environment
for visitors improve air pollution and boost the population.
Although
tourism will bring land pollution, it will
also
educate them and the local
people
. Nowadays, everyone owns at least one smartphone and they record the bad behaviours when they face. After that, they upload the recorded videos or photos on social media, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook or Instagram, for cyber judgment.
Hence
, a majority of visitors will not bring bad environmental impacts to the tour area. In conclusion, the local
people
and
environment
will positively develop through tours because they have more working chances for gaining profit and cultivating conservation.
Submitted by borishim0614 on

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by directly addressing whether you see the development as positive or negative overall.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to improve coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, which can make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
You have successfully outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of organizing tours to remote places.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logically structured introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use examples like Hong Kong's Mei Po and China’s Great Wall to illustrate your points.

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