IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Surveys show that people are living longer in many countries. But increased life expectancy has many implications for aging individuals and for society as a whole. What are the possible effects of longer living for individuals and society?

#surveys #show #people #countries #life #expectancy #implications #individuals #society #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to recent studies, people are having increased
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon brings about a wide range of influences for aging individuals and for the whole
society
Use synonyms
, including older retiring
age
Use synonyms
 and a healthier, happier
society
Use synonyms
. The
first
Linking Words
 effect worth mentioned is that longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 may mean later retiring
age
Use synonyms
 for individuals. As everybody is inclined to live longer, people are regarded as more energetic and physically capable of tasks at the workplaces,
therefore
Linking Words
 the government may impose new regulations on postponing the retiring
age
Use synonyms
 for individuals. A clear example is Italy, where the average lifespan of the population is 85 and the retiring
age
Use synonyms
 is put off until 65.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole, increased
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 would imply not only better physical health, but
also
Linking Words
 a deeper sense of satisfaction and happiness among citizens, which mean an overall harmonious social atmosphere. With longer
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
, people would expect themselves having ample time and physical strength to enjoy travelling around the world, winding down themselves by doing gardening, spending time strengthening family ties etc. With more and more aging individuals enjoying their lives, the
society
Use synonyms
 would be a more peaceful place with stronger happiness. In conclusion, longer lifespan would impact on the retirement
age
Use synonyms
 and suggest better health (both physically &
mentally
Suggestion
mental
) for individuals and
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 945137401 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: